In Vino Veritas
by TheSpazticFantastic
Summary: This story takes place in the "When All Is Lost" series. Iduna lets her guard down and regrets it. Agnarr is on cloud nine. Both have to deal with some of the realities that come with Agnarr being King and whether or not they can have anything more than a friendship.
1. Chapter 1

When she was a girl, home among her people, she would sometimes just close her eyes while playing with the Wind Spirit and her ethereal friend would spin her in gentle circles. That was how she felt now. A slow smile spread across Iduna's face as she rocked with the soothing motion and opened her arms to embrace the wafting feeling she thought lost to her forever. Then she wound up in a heap on the wooden floor of the bedroom she shared with Greet and Maddie at Fiske's Boarding House. She cursed as her head banged against the bed frame when she tried to get up. The sun was coming through the dingy window far too brightly for even noon and her head was pounding.

Iduna groaned and slowly got back onto her bed, trying to brace herself into a sitting position. She had clearly slept in the same clothes she had worn out the night before to celebrate Henrik's departure to England. His mother, determined to break into ice exports, was sending him to Oxford. There was a sour taste in her mouth, as though she had been sucking on a sock, and her eyes burned. The smell of smoke clung to her clothing. Her stomach turned and she lunged for the small wash basin they kept on a smaller stand. It took her a few minutes of clinging pitifully to the stand before she was done. She clumsily removed one of the stomach tonics she had in her chest and drank it down. Groaning, she flopped back onto her blankets.

_Agnarr saw you home._

The thought came burning and unbidden to her mind and her eyes flew open. The events of the previous night were starting to clamor for the few wits she still had about her. They had started out at Hudson's Hearth. And they had started out with Akvavit. It had been Agnarr, Henrik, Elias, Maddie, Greet, herself and a few others from their Academy days. She had gone out drinking before, usually at Hudson's, usually with her friends after a long week, but they often nursed a beer or mead throughout the evening. She had never tried spirits before, but Henrik had insisted on buying the first few rounds. And Greet, who had her eye on Henrik, had insisted with her elbow that Iduna join in. And then there had been the schnapps. And then the vodka.

Iduna remembered asking Agnarr – oh God, was she sitting next to him at that point? Hadn't she started well across the table from him? She remembered asking him if he usually drank like this. And he had laughed heartily and said he usually just stuck to a glass of wine at state events. Then smiled warmly as he ran his hand up her back, leaned close, and asked what she would like next. She could feel her knee pressing against his knee under the table as they raised the next toast to Henrik and wished him the best.

And instead of moving away from him, she had just let her knee stay where it was. Relishing in the solid warmth of him. Focusing on the electrifying sensation of touching him again as she kept drinking to drown the little voice in the back of her head that was trying to shout a warning. Moving even closer as friends said their goodbyes and drifted off into the night. _Oh No_, she felt her face flush with shame. Halima, of all people, had let them sit and continue to talk while she wiped down the tables and glasses at a discrete distance after she shut the place down. When they finally staggered out into the dark, empty streets, they had been laughing while waving good-bye and thanking her. He hadn't turned at the corner that would have led to Market Square and the bridge that separated him from the town proper. She had looked at him questioningly. He shrugged.

"I can't let you walk home alone in the middle of the night."

"I can take care of myself," she said, hoping that he would ignore her for a change.

"I know you can. That's why I need to walk you home," he grinned and staggered crookedly close to her. "To protect the bandits from you. I can't have you thrown in the dungeon for killing a man." She had laughed entirely too long and loudly at that. Her face in her hands, Iduna tried to recall what they had discussed with increasing horror. Whatever it had been that they were talking about, it had been at far too loud a volume and had led to her leaping off a stone wall, absolutely convinced that the Wind Spirit would catch her. The Wind Spirit had not caught her. And neither had Agnarr before she managed to belly flop into the soft mud. Which they had both found hysterical as he helped her up from the wet earth, shaking with laughter, elbows linked.

She felt a fresh wave of nausea tear through her abdomen. She had walked home with the King arm in arm. She gritted her teeth. How could she have been so _stupid_? She remembered Eir's warning that rang in her ears as fiercely as the slap she had received when the old woman had caught her holding his hand when she was fifteen and they had been out walking in the woods unescorted for the last time.

"What are you thinking? I've told you this before! He is the King! Do you know what they'll do to you if you're seen like that, Iduna?" Eir demanded and shook her once, hard, by the shoulders. "I don't know how things are done where you're from, but if _anyone_ sees _that_ \- your reputation will be ruined!"

"But-"

"No! There are no buts," her face softened. "My dear, it doesn't matter. Even if it's innocent, others will think it's not. King Agnarr will someday be married to some high-born woman. Don't give anyone cause to think these thoughts about you. Do you understand? You won't have a future in Arendelle beyond walking the docks at night if you keep this up." She remembered how bitter she had felt at the time, but she had heeded Eir's warning. It was the only time she had ever known Eir to strike anyone under her care in the face. It was serious. She had never taken his hand again. Had always deftly managed to turn any possible suggestion into a light joke and deftly create a distance if he reached out. After a while, he had stopped reaching for her hand and was careful not to touch her. He seemed to understand that like talking about her home, her past, it was something she couldn't do. With the exception of their dance at the ball held for his eighteenth birthday, she had barely touched him at all.

And yet, last night she had purposefully leaned her weight into his warmth and rested her head on his shoulder as they had drunkenly made their way down the streets to Fiske's Boarding House. She hadn't protested when he gently gripped her hand with his. Instead, she had breathed a soft, satisfied sigh feeling for all the world that this was exactly how it should be. She had loved him a long time. And even if she hadn't meant to sacrifice everything to save him, wasn't it just a little fair? That everything she had been through was for a reason and that Agnarr was her reward? It wasn't right that someone who didn't know him or what he had been through would be the one to give him a family again.

_Shit_. Iduna wanted to slap herself now. She had spent years burying those thoughts. Focusing on staying in Arendelle so she would at least be as close to her homeland as possible. Learning what she needed to learn. Getting a job. Establishing herself. Trying to convince herself that Agnarr's friendship was all she needed and she would still get to see him from time to time after the Council married him off. That it _had_ to be enough. But apparently, the akvavit and the schnapps and the vodka and whatever else had joined them had thought differently.

Which was why she had kissed him at her door.

It was chaste. It was only meant to be a thank you for accompanying her home. It was only where his jawline ended as that was as high as she could reach on her toes. But he had sighed, shuddered, and dipped his head almost low enough to catch her lips before even the alcohol brought her hands up to his chest to stop him as she spun away, smiling one last time and wishing him a good night before ducking through the doorway.

Iduna sat cross-legged now, head in her hands, eyes squeezed shut. After spending four years being so cautious and slowly making a place for herself, she had practically thrown it away. She prayed that no one had seen them. As best she could recall, no one had been on the streets. She was certain she would have remembered if they had crossed paths with a watchman. And almost everyone, except drunken idiots, carried a lantern with them at night. There was a soft knock on the door. She looked up.

"Iddy?" Greet called tentatively. The handle turned with a click and her roommate stepped inside. It was a bit of a relief to see her look worse for wear too. "How are you feeling?"

"I threw up," she nodded at the basin. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Greet shrugged and sat on her lower bunk. "I threw up earlier. Maddie was sick last night. I think we all over did it a bit."

"I think you're right," she replied dryly. "Do you need a ginger tonic?"

"I already stole one while you were sleeping," Greet chuckled. Iduna shrugged. That was only fair. "Maddie said Henrik carried me to bed. I don't remember a thing after leaving Hudson's. He . . .wasn't here when you came home, was he?" Iduna thought a moment. If she were honest, Henrik could have been juggling fire and she wouldn't have noticed when she had floated through the door on her cloud of alcohol and Agnarr.

"I didn't see him, no."

"Oh, thank God." Greet visibly relaxed and rubbed her neck. "He's nice enough, but Fiske would turn us out if he'd spent the night."

Iduna nodded. "Yep." There was a long pause.

"So how long did you and Agnarr stay out?" It was funny when Greet was trying to be nonchalant and discrete. It was funny because she failed every time and her questions came out all the more pointed.

"We had maybe one more drink and then headed out," she lied easily. It wasn't like Greet or Maddie were in much of a position to argue with her account of things. They had been snoring when she stumbled to bed. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Nearly ten."

"What!?" Compounding all of her many staggeringly poor decision in the past day, she was now very, very late for work.

Agnarr woke from the draft on his legs. _Where the hell are my pants?_ He thought as staggered upright. He looked around his bedroom. There was a trail of clothing from the door to the bed, where he had apparently spent the few hours he had slept sprawled out in his underpants and undershirt. With one sock on. At least the dreams had been good. He smiled and gently touched the spot where Iduna had kissed him. It entirely made up for the fact that he felt sick as a dog and that the floor was still weaving like the deck of a ship.

He sat heavily in a chair and squinted out the window. It had been an excellent send off for Henrik and a wonderful night. He could remember Iduna sitting next to him after Henrik swapped chairs to be closer to Greet. He had told her the truth. He really wasn't used to drinking anything stronger than a watered-down claret. The alcohol had been warm in his head and his chest, but nothing compared to the warmth he felt radiating off of her body as he leaned in to hear her over the din. It had been intoxicating, to be so close to her. He grinned at the thought.

He had never been certain what had happened. When they were young, Iduna had been freer in her shows of affection than anyone else he had ever met. They would take walks into the woods where she would show him all the different herbs and plants she used for her tonics and compounds. She would point out animal tracks and how to walk off the path without getting lost by using the moss on the trunks of trees. It had been his favorite thing, when he was fourteen, to be around her. She used to hold his hand as she pulled him through the brush. And then one day, she had stopped. Their unaccompanied walks into the forest had also ended as his guard was changed out and the new man refused to allow him to go around alone.

He thought he understood, as he got a little older. It wasn't proper for him to be completely alone with a young lady because it might besmirch her reputation. And that, of course, was the last thing he wanted for Iduna. Captain Calder had also delicately explained, in an awkward but fatherly talk, that it was important for him to take care with the ladies of Arendelle as he was their King. And how, for some women, it might be hard to decline the interests of a King. That was one of the reasons Agnarr had agreed to be introduced to some of the daughters of nobility and royalty from other regions. It was easier – they all knew where they stood. But it was just a formality and courtesy. As Lady Wollen, the Minister of State, had advised it would be best to treat all of their trade partners as respectfully as possible before making any decisions. And some of them were nice enough, but they were bland and they were boring, and they certainly didn't know him as well as Iduna.

He was a gentleman with them, of course. Polite. Gave small gifts. Listened attentively to their stories. Shared his own stories carefully. But he could never imagine marrying any of them. He certainly didn't see any of them as potential partners with which to start a family. It wasn't even that he knew Arendelle needed heirs – it did, obviously he would get married at some point and have children. And he wanted a family of his own one day. He still missed his father. He had never known his mother. He wanted . . .well, it was hard to put into words exactly. But whenever he had expressed his fragmented thoughts to Iduna she had always been able to come up with the right words.

When he had tried, though, a year or so before, to express his interest, she hadn't responded. He had even tried to playfully hold her hand as she had once held his, but she had pulled away. It hurt. But he knew that she was fond of him and always had a ready smile whenever she saw them. He wasn't about to throw away a friendship if she didn't have other feelings for him. He liked talking to her more than anyone else, even Elias and Henrik. He didn't have to explain. He didn't have to try to be the King. He just felt like himself.

And, frankly, he flattered himself that he knew her better than anyone else. He knew that she had several different sunny smiles that were genuine and three she kept for the customers she didn't much like. He knew how quick her mind was and exactly how she tilted her head while harvesting a plant for her tonics. How she ground herbs between her bare hands and closed her eyes as she smelled them. He knew that she missed the family she lost. He knew she wanted a family of her own. He knew that she liked the woods more than the sea, but that she loved sailing when given the opportunity – always leaning into the ocean breeze on the bow. Agnarr had felt that he knew almost everything there was to know about Iduna, except how she felt about him.

Well, he knew now. Blearily, he rose and began his morning ablution. He was half dressed when someone knocked at the door. "Come in!"

"Your Majesty," Tanvir had served as his father's manservant before the Northern Expedition and his grandfather before that. The old man liked to joke that he came with the castle. "I thought I heard you. Are you feeling well? I was unable to rouse you earlier."

Agnarr paused, blinked a few times to clear away the gritty feeling in his eyes, and continued to button his shirt. "Uh, you know, I'm feeling a little under the weather this morning. I think I have a touch of stomach flu."

"Oh? You know, I remember your father having something very similar when he was about your age," Tanvir said as he raised an eyebrow. Agnarr looked away and failed to suppress a smirk. "I'll have the staff bring you some bacon and heavy biscuits, as well as a pot of coffee."

"Thank you, Tanvir, but I was going to head into town."

"With a stomach flu?"

"Iduna has a few remedies that should clear it right up."

"With all due respect, your Majesty, I think you'll find that _this_ stomach flu will be better treated with bacon, heavy biscuits, and a pot of coffee," he spoke dryly. "As talented as Miss Iduna is with her herbs, I doubt the young lady has much experience with this specific kind of ailment. Might I recommend eating before you go to see if she has something for you? My understanding is that those in the medical profession tend not to like having their patrons too green in the gills when they walk through the door." Agnarr raised his hands in defeat. He had looked rather sallow in the mirror.

"Alright, Tanvir. Thank you."

The bacon, biscuits and coffee had helped tremendously, but it was early afternoon by time Agnarr set off for Visser's Apothecary. There was a fresh breeze blowing in off the water and the smell of the salt did him good. He had waved off his personal guard today, promising that he would be back within the hour. Visser's was close to Market Square and the area was heavily patrolled. He wanted some privacy for this. He had considered bringing flowers along, but there was no way that it would have passed without some remark by the Council, the castle staff, the dignitaries who were constantly hovering about to see if they could present their eligible lady or the castle guards. It didn't matter. He could give her flowers the next time she visited him. She wouldn't refuse an invitation to dinner. And she was coming by tomorrow to check the medicinal garden she had planted during her academy days anyway. He could always surprise her with them then.

He couldn't help but set a brisk pace as he moved through the square. Smiling and nodding to those who greeted him. Usually, he would take the time to have a word or pay a compliment to his subjects, but he couldn't wait to see Iduna. He had been wanting this for so long. He could remember the very first time she had smiled at him before he even knew her name. The first time she had taken him by the hand. Their walks. Their conversations. Maybe he could even screw up the courage to kiss her properly today. That was how this was done, wasn't it?

The bell clanged as he opened the door to Visser's Apothecary. He broke into a grin and his heart skipped a beat as he caught sight of her. Her back was to the door as she ground something in a mortar and pestle. "I'll be with you in a moment," she called over her shoulder. He just watched her while walking slowly towards the counter. Even the back of her neck was beautiful. "How can I help-" She turned and saw him. Iduna's smile melted away. She looked surprised. And fatigued. He smiled and leaned against the counter.

"I was hoping for one of your ginger tonics." He said in what he thought was a very winning manner. She slapped a towel over her shoulder and stared at the floor.

"Doctor Wagner has those," she finally said.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "But they're not nearly as good as yours." There was another pause. She still wasn't looking at him. He straightened and frowned. "Are you not feeling well?" More silence. He pressed on. "I didn't wake up feeling too well either. But I-"

"Your Majesty," she started. Then shook her head. "You should go."

"What?" Agnarr stared. This wasn't how this was supposed to go.

"I would like you to go." She nodded at the door, hugging her arms at her waist.

"But . . ." His chest burned. He could feel his heart starting to hammer against his rib cage. "But why?" She didn't respond. "I thought that last night-"

"Last night we were very drunk." Although she kept her tone even, Agnarr could see a slight tremble to her lip. "I forgot myself. I forgot my place. I'm sorry, your Majesty. It won't happen again."

"Iduna, I don't understand!" He gripped the edge of the counter. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry! I thought I was being respectful and-"

"You were," she spat in a bitter tone he had never heard from her before. "You were very respectful. You're the King. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But you're angry with me!"

"I'm not, Agnarr," Iduna shook her head and bit her lip so hard he could see it go white. "I'm not angry with you. But you need to go."

"If you're not angry with me then why do I need to go?" She had used his name. That had to be a good sign. "If I didn't do anything wrong, then why are you upset? I know we got a bit too tipsy, but everyone else does that all the time! And Halima wasn't mad about it. Believe me, I would _know _if she was mad about it! I thought we had a good time. I thought," he waved a hand. "I don't know. You kissed me!"

"I made a mistake," her shoulders slumped. She ran her hands over her face and when she looked up at him for the first time, Agnarr could see that her eyes were filled with tears. "Like I said, I forgot my place, Your Majesty, and I'm sorry."

"Your place?"

"I'm a shop girl. And you have been meeting with women, royal women, from other kingdoms and-"

"Iduna, that's a formality! I have to do that."

"You have to get married."

"I have some say in who I get married to!" He yelled. They both stood, stunned. He couldn't remember ever raising his voice to her before. He took a deep breath. "Listen – you're not a shop girl. I've never thought of you as-"

"I _am_ a shop girl," she said in a strained tone. She was determinedly looking past him. "And that's fine. But I work in a shop. And I'm not from here. And I have no family. I have no one."

"Iduna," his face fell. How could she say she had no one? "You've always had me since we met."

"And I appreciate your friendship. And I hope to remain friends. But you know that's not what I mean."

He stared at her in disbelief. "Iduna, I know you. This isn't you. What happened?"

"You don't," she shook her head and furiously wiped her eyes. "You don't know me. Not as well as you think you do."

"Iduna," he grasped for anything he could understand out of this. "Iduna, I know that I love-"

"Please!" her voice broke. "Please, just leave." Her head was bowed, but he could hear the tears in her voice as she grasped her sides tightly. "Please." He felt like a snuffed candle. She was begging. Dazed, Agnarr backed away from the counter, turned and staggered for the door. He heard her breaking down into sobs as he stepped into the sunlight and let the door bang shut behind him. He gazed around at the square. Same sun. Same breeze. Same people. How in the hell had his life become so different?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to everyone reading along. This is part of the "When All Is Lost Series". My collaborator is not on FFN, so if you are looking for all the stories in chronological order you can find them here on A03

Someone was banging on his door. Again. Agnarr took another swig from his bottle, then slammed it against the table. This was getting out of hand. He had explicitly instructed the staff that he be left alone except when he rang for food or more to drink.

"Go! Away!" He bellowed. He had spent every single day of the last four years working for the sake of his kingdom. He was due a damn break. It had been four days since Iduna had first ordered and then begged him to leave her. He could have handled her anger, even if he didn't understand it. But the tearful pleading had broken him. He was still hoping that somewhere at the bottom of one of the bottles he would figure out what he had done to hurt her. What had made her change her mind about kissing him.

"Your Majesty?" Through the haze of the alcohol, he heard the hesitancy in his friend Elias Calder's voice. Agnarr scowled before unsteadily making his way across the room and throwing open the door. Elias was standing wide-eyed in the hall.

"What do you want?"

"I'd – I'd like to come in, Agnarr. If that's all right by you." Sighing, Agnarr nodded and rubbed his eyes. He noticed a small serving cart that was stocked with biscuits, bacon and water and grabbed at one of the two handles he could make out. Elias stopped him. "Let me get that for you." He shrugged and stumbled back to his chair. He waved a hand at the various bottles.

"You want something to drink?"

"Uh, no," Elias said as he rolled the cart next to Agnarr. "I'm good. Drank my fill when we were all out together. Weak stomach." He patted the waist of his pants. "Didn't take you for this much of a drinker, to be honest."

Agnarr stared sullenly at him. "Let me guess. Your father told you about the Council meeting yesterday?"

"He's just concerned that-"

"I wasn't drunk." That had been the problem. He had merely been very hungover. And the Council meeting was preventing him from getting back to being drunk.

"No one is saying that you were," Elias spoke very carefully as he sat across from Agnarr. "Father was just concerned for you because you did smell very strongly of whiskey and were wearing the same clothing that you wore the day before."

Agnarr grabbed a biscuit and took a bite. "Only the whiskey, eh?" He could feel the crumbs spraying with his words and took a swig from one of the bottles. "And it was only the small Council. They used to see me in my swaddling. What's a day-old outfit?"

Elias fidgeted with one of the buttons on his waist coat and glanced around the room. Agnarr had no doubt that Elias noticed the tossed bedding, the broken glass from dropped bottles that he had kicked into the corners, the embarrassingly small mark on the wall where he had tried to punch through. Even in his inebriated state, he couldn't miss his friends' concern for him.

"Agnarr," Elias took a deep breath and met his eyes. "This is not you."

"It is me. I am me." He poked himself in the chest. "This is me."

"It is not you," Elias continued, clasping his hands and leaning forward in his chair. "We've known each other since we were children. I've never known you to have more than two glasses of wine. I mean, we all went a bit hard at Hudson's the other night-" Agnarr scowled. "But what are you doing here?"

"Continuing the good times, Elias." He grabbed a piece of bacon and stuffed it into his mouth.

"Did something happen, Agnarr? I hope this isn't over Henrik leaving. He'd think you were being a bit of a tit."

"Henrik? Thinking I'm being a 'bit of a tit' for drinking?" He snorted. "Henrik drinks more than you, I and half the castle guards put together."

"Not like this sorry state, he doesn't. I'm going to miss him too, but this behavior is," Elias struggled a moment for the appropriate word. "Well, I don't want to say it's insane, but that's what it is. You've got three delegations here all looking to strike a match, four more representatives from important trade partners looking to re-negotiate different pacts and you're making an ass of yourself. The entire staff is worried. You know Gerda and Kai have been watering down that swill you're drinking so you don't kill yourself?"

"What?" He sat up. "How dare they water it down!"

"Agnarr." Elias glared at him. "Focus! What. Happened?" Agnarr cracked his knuckles and slumped back in his chair, staring at the dust motes spiraling in the air. A few moments of silence passed. "Is this about Duchess Alexsandra because that was-"

"No," he sneered. "I don't give a damn about Duchess Alexsandra. I don't give a damn about any of them." He rubbed his face with his hands. "I-I just . . ." he sighed unhappily. Usually, he talked about these things with Iduna. But that wasn't a possibility any more. "I did something wrong. Except I don't know what it was."

Elias frowned at him. "I'm going to need more information than that."

"When we were at Hudson's, sending off Henrik, I wound up leaving with Iduna," Agnarr said slowly. To his surprise, Elias looked like he was suppressing a smile.

"Oh?"

"I walked her home."

"Very gentlemanly."

"See? See, that's what I thought!" Agnarr leaned forward. "And when we got to the boarding house, she kissed me good night!"

"She kissed you?" Elias chuckled and drummed his fingers on his thigh.

"Yes! On the chin, I mean, but-"

"Agnarr," Elias shook his head. "You're my King and my friend, but Christ you need to man up. You should be kissing her." Agnarr cocked his head.

"What?"

"It's just good form for the man to kiss his lady," Elias was still chuckling. "Not the other way around."

"She's not my lady, Elias."

"Oh, come on," he rapped his knuckles on the table. "You've been sweet on her since – well, since as long as I can remember. Since you met her, probably. I remember you telling me about some girl up at the orphanage with the brightest smile. We thought you were mad." Elias smiled and placed a hand on Agnarr's shoulder. "If you're going to do anything about it, it needs to happen now. Why do you think we all left?" Elias paused. "Well, aside from the fact that Henrik was trying to bed Greet one last time, but that didn't work out all too well." Agnarr shook his head, trying to clear away the cloud of alcohol fogging his brain.

"No, I mean she's not my lady because she ordered me out of Visser's."

"What? What do you mean she ordered you out?"

"She didn't – it wasn't – she didn't exactly order me out," He slumped again. "It was more that she begged me to go."

"She was begging?" Elias sounded incredulous. Agnarr couldn't blame him. He had been there and still didn't believe it.

"Yes," he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "She said that she was sorry she kissed me. That she forgot her place. That it wouldn't happen again."

"Oh . . ." Elias winced. "That is . . .I'm sorry Agnarr. I wouldn't have thought Iddy cared about all of that."

"I know," he mumbled. He could feel his eyes start to burn and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to start crying again in front of Elias. "Then she asked – begged - me to leave." There was a long stretch of silence. "And she didn't come to check on her plot in the gardens. She's never done that before. Not in four years of tending it." Again, silence.

"Agnarr," Elias had adopted that cautious tone again. "You . . .have spoken to her about your feelings for her? Especially with all the overtures for marriage you've been fielding?"

"Oh come off it, Elias," he sighed. "We all know those are a formality. It's all about saving face for our partners. We've extended everyone far too much credit for there to be any real threat of a war. And your father is pulling his hair out trying to figure out which one would lose us the least revenue with preferred trade partner status."

"Well, yes. You and I know that. But does Iduna? Did she ever ask you about it?"

Agnarr shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Not exactly."

"Did you ever specifically _tell_ her that this is mostly a political show?"

"Yes . . ."

Elias raised an eyebrow. "Yes . . .but?"

"I mean, I did tell her it was a formality." He licked his lips. "But – I guess, I mean – she's a girl. I have asked her for advice on occasion about what flowers some of the ladies might like or what they might want to do in town." Elias blinked at him, then grabbed one of the whiskey bottles and took a swig.

"Christ, Agnarr."

"I also did ask her once what kind of foods or chocolates I should have stocked in their rooms that they might like-"

"Just – just stop talking. Please. Just stop." Elias flopped back in his seat, smiled humorlessly and shook his head, staring at the ceiling. "Iduna doesn't exactly wear her heart on her sleeve like you do. You know that Henrik and Greet call you her puppy? Because you're always following her around?" Agnarr flushed. "She heard them say it once and didn't know why."

"That's-"

"I said stop talking," Elias wagged a finger at him. "You might think your feelings are obvious to her – and listen, it's obvious to the rest of us. Painfully obvious. Embarrassingly and childishly obvious. But it's not obvious to her. It's not. And if you've been so abysmally stupid as to ask her for advice in wooing women, no wonder she's confused and angry!"

"I'm not asking her advice in wooing women, Elias."

"Agnarr, you damn fool, that's exactly what you've been doing in her eyes." He slapped his hand against the table. "I might not be as good with the ladies as Henrik, but it does give me some small comfort to know I'm not as much of an idiot as you are."

"I didn't-"

"Agnarr, listen to me. Iduna clearly has no idea how you feel. And you have been an absolute coward about pursuing her. So – let me paint you a picture. You're the king. And Iddy isn't even from Arendelle."

"I don't care about that!"

"I know you don't. I don't care. My father doesn't care. No one cares!" Elias rolled his eyes. "But shut up another minute and listen. You. Are. The. King. And she's from . . .somewhere . . .she doesn't have a family to fall back on if she was your passing fancy."

"Iduna is not a passing fancy," he spoke slowly and deliberately. It made him angry to think that anyone could ever think he would disrespect her like that.

"I don't think she is," Elias agreed. "But you've got her leaping off a cliff with no net. For God's sake, you didn't even kiss her. She kissed you!"

"And then she said it was a mistake."

"Maybe, but she said that after the fact. How many men do you think she's kissed?"

"Watch yourself," he growled. Elias raised a conciliatory hand.

"No, listen to me, Agnarr. I'm not trying to compare her to Greet. You know she's had potential suitors? Everyone knows Iduna. Everyone loves Iduna. Especially after last summer's outbreak of Rock Pox. There've been a couple of fellows who've gone by Visser's to express their interest. And she's turned down every single one of them."

Agnarr felt something dark and ugly uncoil in his chest at Elias' words. He gnawed on a tough piece of bacon for a moment. "How do you know about this? She's never mentioned it to me!"

"Use your head, man!" Elias sighed. "She's got a good job with good prospects, a good head on her shoulders and she's very pretty!" Agnarr gritted his teeth. Iduna was so much more than that. "Do you understand that she will get married at some point, Ag? Did you know that Henrik's mother practically ordered him to ask her out?"

"What?" He rose to his feet and then sat slowly back down as the room began to spin. "Henrik never said anything about that!"

"Of course he didn't! He didn't want you to knock his teeth out! He told his mother as much too. That if he tried to walk around with her and get engaged at some point, you'd probably pull all of her storage and impound her ships."

"I-" his voice was strangled. "Would. Not. Do. That." That probably wasn't a lie. Probably.

"Agnarr," Elias clapped his hands together. "My point is that Iduna is not like us. She has far more to lose when it comes to affairs of the heart. And I have to admit, I had wondered a bit about her turning down some of those men because one or two were rather well-off and my mother says would make fine husbands. But if Iduna kissed you then that explains it." He shrugged. "But as much as it pains me to say this, my friend, it sounds like you have given her _nothing_ to indicate how you feel." Elias sighed and rubbed his temples. "What can you expect from her? Even if you had kissed her – how is she supposed to know you're looking for anything more than what Henrik and Greet get up to? What is she supposed to think about your intentions?"

"I – I don't . . .I don't know. I don't expect anything," Agnarr said softly.

"Then what do you want?" Elias asked. Agnarr remained silent. He knew what he didn't want. He didn't want to be a King who watched the woman he loved, had loved since adolescence if he was honest with himself, marry someone else and walk about the town with their children, while he got stuck wedded and bedded to some high-born woman who didn't know the names of any plants beyond those in the solarium and wouldn't be caught dead on a dinghy.

"I'll think on that, Elias, thank you," He finally replied. Elias nodded.

"Maybe, do it in sobriety?"

"Message received, Elias."

"She won't speak with you if you're reeking like a sailor on shore leave."

He smiled at that and closed his eyes. "No. She won't. I don't know if she'll speak to me at all." Elias clapped him on the shoulder.

"She will, Agnarr. She's always had time for you. Just try not to screw it up this time, eh?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to everyone reading along. This is part of the "When All Is Lost Series". My collaborator is not on FFN, so if you are looking for all the stories in chronological order you can find them here on A03

Iduna jumped as Maddie slammed the door to their shared room. Greet was already standing in the center of their small space, hands on her hips and tapping her foot. Maddie shifted to block the doorway. Iduna looked back and forth between the pair. This was new.

"We need to talk about your puppy," Greet said and motioned to an empty chair. "Sit."

"My puppy?" Iduna furrowed her brow.

"His Majesty," Maddie sighed. "That's what Greet and Henrik call him."

"Who? King Agnarr?"

"King Agnarr?" Greet mimicked her voice. "Since when have you ever called him that?"

"He isn't my puppy!"

"He follows you around like one!"

"He does spend an awful lot of time at the apothecary, Iddy," Maddie said gently. "And you two are always talking with one another."

"I don't feel like discussing this with either of you right now," Iduna turned to go, but Maddie braced her arm across the door.

"Did you know he's been drunk in his room since we all went out?" Greet inquired. "Henrik told me before he left for England this morning."

"I thought his ship left before dawn?"

"This isn't about when Henrik's ship left, Iduna!" Greet said sharply. "He told me that Agnarr has been drinking in his bedroom and refusing to come out. Except for one Council meeting and he showed up drunk."

"He wouldn't do that," Iduna dropped down sullenly in the chair and crossed her arms. "Henrik is lying."

"No, it's true," Maddie said as she sat on the edge of her bed. "I heard as much from Gerda when I was delivering the dry goods. Everyone's worried. No one has ever seen him like this. Not even after his father died." Iduna remained silent, glaring at her friends. This wasn't their business. It wasn't anyone's business.

"What did you do to him, Iddy?" Greet demanded.

"Me? I didn't do anything to him!" She protested. "He's the King! What could I do to him?"

"Maddie? You want to tell her what you told me?" Greet crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. Iduna frowned. Maddie blushed and stared at her feet as she rocked back and forth.

"It's just . . .I know it's not my business, Iduna, but I went outside for some fresh air that night after getting sick. And you and His Majesty were walking down the street with one another arm in arm." Iduna froze. She could feel the color go from her face. Maddie looked apologetic. "I mean, I ducked back inside as soon as I saw you and went to bed. Everyone deserves their privacy. But . . .you know. You both looked really close and really happy." Iduna closed her eyes. She could still vividly feel the solid, reassuring warmth of his large frame against her. At least Maddie hadn't seen the most compromising event of the evening.

"And now he's been trying to drink the castle dry for past five days," Greet said a little too smugly for her liking. "And you've been pretty irritable too. Everyone knows you go to the castle on Sunday afternoons to check that garden of yours, but this week you didn't even leave the room. So what happened?"

"Yes," Iduna muttered through gritted teeth. "I walked home with him. And we were both staggering a bit, so we leaned on one another."

"And?" Greet smirked.

"And what? It was inappropriate and I apologized to him."

"You apologized?" Maddie looked confused. "But why?"

"Oh Lord, Iduna," Greet sighed and shook her head. "We've talked about this before. The old woman at the orphanage really got into your head, didn't she?"

"There's nothing wrong with hand holding, Iduna," Maddie agreed.

"There's nothing wrong with doing a little more than hand holding, Maddie. There's nothing wrong with doing a _lot_ more than hand holding. But holding someone's hand definitely doesn't make you a prostitute. And even if it did, who cares? Have you seen some of the high-end brothels by port? They've got crystal. They make _money_." Iduna could see Maddie shaking her head and mouthing an apology as Greet continued to speak. "Does anyone else in Arendelle have nicer furs? Or better perfume?"

"Or more varied forms of venereal disease?" Iduna said lightly. Although, truth be told, they were excellent customers who always paid in cash and complimented her on how effective her remedies were. She wasn't there to judge.

"So don't bed a Frenchman," Greet rolled her eyes. "We're not talking about that. Iduna, Agnarr is the _king_. I've been telling you for the past two years to wrap your legs around him."

"And I've been ignoring you so that Maddie and I don't have to split the rent two ways." Iduna dead panned.

"Look, Iduna," Maddie sighed. "We all know that Agnarr is sweet on you."

"'We'? Who's 'we'?" She scoffed.

"We," Maddie spoke firmly. "Your friends. The castle staff. Some of those high-born girls who come down to the castle kitchens to complain to their cooks in private. He meets with you every Sunday. He's always coming to Visser's. He manages to catch you almost every time you set foot into Market Square. Whenever he sees me, he asks about you – even if he just saw you a few hours ago." There was a long pause in which Iduna set her gaze on the small bell he had gifted her that first Christmas in Arendelle. It was only slightly tarnished. "He gave you that remarkable necklace at his birthday that you've had hanging on your bedpost until three days ago when you stuffed it at the bottom of your chest. Come on, Iddy. You have to know he has some feelings for you."

Iduna opened her mouth to speak, but the words died on her lips. She had never told either of them about her past. They knew she had been at Eir's, but that was all. In the aftermath of the failed Northern Expedition and Arendelle's encouragement of immigrants to come and replace their depleted military ranks, to make whole broken families, most people just focused on the present and let the past stay in the past. There was no way to explain how even loving him hurt some part of her as she wondered in the dead of the night how much of a traitor it made her to her people. To explain how much she had given up without understanding the consequences to save his life. How difficult it had been to watch him ride off with those women on the tours of the coastline where they had previously collected shells and birds' eggs.

"Iddy?"

"I – I just," she sighed heavily. "I just think you're over estimating the extent of His Majesty's feelings for me."

"Nah," Greet shook her head.

"Honestly, Iddy, I don't think that's possible," Maddie agreed. "The castle gardeners have had a betting pool on when you two will start courting going on for over a year."

"No, listen to me," she felt her cheeks flush. "We were – are – I think, friends. And we were friends when we were younger. And I hope that whoever he marries will permit us to remain friends, but I don't think he has any of these deep romantic feelings that you're deluding yourselves about."

"How can you be so smart, yet so stupid?" Greet laughed mirthlessly. Iduna clenched her fists.

"I'm not stupid, Greet. You just want some kind of fairy tale. That's not real life! Did you know he took me to Bon's Confectionary to see if it would be good enough to for one of those women? Or that he had me help pick out bouquets that would best represent Arendelle's native flowers? He even had me help him create mnemonics to remember their names and where they were from!"

Much to her shock, Greet and Maddie made pained faces and went "Oh!" at the exact same time. Greet looked like she was trying not to break out into hysterical laughter and Maddie was slowly shaking her head.

"Oh? Oh?" She scowled at them. "Oh what?"

"You're not the stupid one, he is!" Greet looked over at Maddie. "That explains so much."

"Iduna," Maddie licked her lip as she searched for the right words. "Men are . . .well, men are dumb."

"Yeah," Greet snorted. "Henrik is so dumb he doesn't know I'm the one seducing him." Iduna and Maddie both stared at her. She shrugged. "What? Men like a challenge."

"What we're trying to say," Maddie raised her voice and spoke quickly before Greet could continue. "Is that men don't always think of how their actions come across. And given that His Majesty has been, you know, rather sheltered his whole life it makes sense that he has no idea how his behavior could be interpreted."

"How could his behavior be interpreted?" Iduna said cooly.

"Manipulative and cruel at the worst," Greet shrugged.

"He doesn't have a manipulative or cruel bone in his body," Iduna replied, slightly confused. It had never occurred to her that Agnarr would intentionally try to hurt her. He was just . . .oh no, oh no, oh no . . . she was going to have to agree with _Greet_. She did think he was utterly clueless.

Maddie nodded. "Exactly. So it comes across as he's not interested in you, right?"

"He's not," Iduna said. "Not like that, anyway."

"No, he's definitely interested in you like that," Greet smirked. "He follows you everywhere when he's not playing politics. And when you aren't talking with one another, he's just staring after you." She brushed her bangs from her face. "But if you don't want him because he's too stupid to do anything about it, just let me know. I don't mind stupid men. They're easier to manage. Fewer surprises."

"Greet," Maddie hissed. She sighed and looked back at Iduna. "Iduna, His Majesty lives in a castle. Behind a moat. With a lot of armed guards. And a bunch of courtiers and staff. No one ever really tells him that he's wrong. Until this week, he's been the model monarch. He founded the Academy, he's opened up Arendelle to anyone looking for a quiet place to build a life, he's very generous to those in need and he's been a perfect gentleman with all those foreign girls being presented to him."

"Of course he has," Iduna bristled. "I've practically been giving him lessons."

"Did you ever tell him no?" Maddie spoke gently. Iduna glared at her. "That's what I mean. He's the King. No one tells him no. No one ever really calls him out when he's being stupid – not like this. And who's he going to get advice from? Henrik? If you aren't interested in him like that, that's fine. But you two have always been really close. You're always sharing your own jokes and stories. And, just – when I saw you two together that night – it made a lot of sense why you've turned down four potential suitors."

"Five," Greet chimed in.

"Five potential suitors." Iduna remained silent, arms crossed over her chest, trying to ignore how painful it was becoming to swallow.

"You deserve to be happy, Iddy," Greet spoke softly. Maddie nodded. "Agnarr is a good king, but he's always a bit sad. And you're such a kind person, but you're always a bit wistful. But whenever you two are together, you're always smiling and laughing."

"We love you, Iddy, and everyone else seems to know that Agnarr does too. Even if he's been an absolute tit about it. I know you never talk about where you're from, but you're in Arendelle now."

"Yeah," Greet said. "My family has been here for three generations. No one cares too much about who a King marries as long as it doesn't result in a war or trade loss."

"It's true," Maddie agreed. "Everyone tends to their business. And when the King is happy, business flourishes."

"And when an apothecary is happy, people don't die mysteriously." Iduna smiled faintly at that. It was a good point. Then Greet grinned mischievously. "But most importantly, when a King and Queen are _both _happy, there's plenty of heirs and stability. So, you know, the Council probably figures that losing _one_ alliance now will result in five or six heirs to make alliances with a few years down the road."

"I was going to say at least eight," Maddie said primly.

"Ok," Iduna stood up and ducked past her giggling friends. "That's enough. Thank you. I'm going for a walk."

There were few places she still felt entirely free and at ease. Her – correction, _the_ \- castle medicinal gardens, at least when Agnarr wasn't being an idiot, was one. And she loved the quiet of the shop in the early hours before the customers came to call when she could be alone with her thoughts as she prepared the traditional balms and teas of her youth before discreetly packaging them under names that Arendellians were more likely to buy. But the woods were still by far her favorite place to go. She followed the road that led out to Eir's, smiling and greeting acquaintances and customers alike as she walked along. As Arendelle disappeared behind the mountains and the steady stream of traders gave way to a mostly empty road, she drifted off into the trees.

She waited until she was out of sight of the road to sit on a fallen log and remove her boots. She stuffed her stockings inside and wiggled her toes. Leaving the boots on the log, she strode barefoot into the woods. It was foolish, she knew, but it made her feel more connected in spite of her skirts and braids. She hugged the satchel that Agnarr had given her all those years ago to her chest, before deftly weaving past some thorns to better examine the trunk of an aspen, trying to determine if it was ready to be harvested. But it was difficult to focus on the color and texture. She huffed a sigh. Greet was as hopeless as Henrik, but Maddie – well, she expected better from Maddie.

Agnarr wasn't her puppy. Agnarr wasn't her anything. Was only her friend until he found a wife who could order her away. Despite everything that she had done, everything that had happened between them since she unwittingly came to Arendelle, despite every stupid, childish, foolish longing that assailed her in her unguarded moments – Agnarr wasn't hers. She, however, was his. And it infuriated her. Maddie was right. She never told him no. Never pushed him away. Hadn't dared to make plain how he had wounded her. Because she knew that he felt like he was a pawn in his own life. She hadn't wanted to make him feel worse. He had always confided his fears to her, every niggling uncertainty that wormed across his troubled mind. She wouldn't burden him like that. And Maddie had been wrong. The necklace wasn't in her chest. It was in her pocket. So she could grip it and feel the heat in her hand, proof enough of some fondness that had passed between them.

She sighed. This was pathetic. _She _was pathetic.

There were also the dreams. They weren't frequent. They didn't leave her gasping in the middle of the night like the ones she had when she first came to Arendelle – the wild panic of not being able to find her family, fire and stone raining from the sky – Agnarr bloodied and impossibly still. But they were quietly persistent. Her brother, Lemek, silently staring at her as she danced with Agnarr at his birthday gala. Her mother and Anja, the old medicine woman who had taught her so much, gazing from outside the window, fingers pressed against the panes of glass as she sold their remedies to the families of the soldiers who probably slaughtered them. A towering man in martial attire – King Runeard, she could recognize him from the portraits Agnarr had shown her – glowering in disgust as her fourteen year-old self skipped through the village with the Wind Spirit. The one that bothered her the most was the avalanche of ice rushing down the fjord from the north, destroying everything in its wake. She always woke up before it hit Arendelle.

There had always been intermarriage among the Northuldra. Between tribes. Even between traders from the south – from Arendelle and other city-states. The men and women who stayed were welcomed. Those who drifted away to start families were missed, but hardly judged. Still . . .she couldn't help but shake the feeling that any kind of union with Agnarr would be monumentally different. Even if she couldn't explain why. Not that it mattered. Because he was going to wind up with one of those other ladies who thought flowers were pretty decorations to arrange and she was going to keep working them into medicinal remedies at the apothecary. And that was fine. He was safe. She was safe. They were safe. That was enough.

The sharp crack of a branch caught her off guard and she rose quickly from where she had been crouching. Her breath caught. Looking deeply embarrassed, standing several paces away with his hands raised as if not to spook her, was Agnarr.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you to everyone reading along. This is part of the "When All Is Lost Series". My collaborator is not on FFN, so if you are looking for all the stories in chronological order you can find them here on A03.

And thank you Scars of the Moon for your kind review! I appreciate it!

They stood there, completely still and utterly silent for several heart beats. Then Iduna watched as slowly, very slowly, with his hand still outstretched, Agnarr took a tentative step forward. He smiled weakly.

"Please don't leave me here, I'd be lost without you." Her gaze flicked to the woods behind him. They weren't more than a few hundred yards from the road. If she darted into the trees, it was at least even odds that he would make his way back to Arendelle or that his guards would find him before he starved to death. Or died of hypothermia. Or the wolves ate him. But his uncertain, slightly hopeful tone reminded of a similar encounter that may as well have happened in another lifetime when he was just as lost, and endearing, and hopeful. And in that moment, she knew she wouldn't abandon him.

She watched as Agnarr looked over his shoulder and then back at her. "I didn't bring an escort." He said hurriedly. Before she could explain herself, he continued on. "I was coming to call on you at Mr. Visser's, but he said you were at home. I saw you leaving the boarding house and followed. I'm sorry."

After a few more agonizing moments of silence, Iduna crossed her arms and licked her lips. She wanted him gone. To be away. She couldn't think clearly any more when they were alone. The past year had been too much. It had gotten to her. "It's your kingdom, your Majesty. You can go anywhere. You have nothing to apologize for."

"No, Iduna, I do." He took another step closer. "I have a lot to apologize for. And I hope that you'll let me. Apologize, I mean. I've been a complete and absolute ass." He gave a humorless laugh as she raised an eyebrow. "I have treated you so poorly. Which is just . . ." He tapped his chest. "Has been hurting my heart since Elias explained to me what a complete ass I've been because you are the last person I would want to hurt."

Inexplicably, Iduna felt an overwhelming sense of rage and resentment course through her veins at his words. Rather than any feelings of forgiveness, she could only re-live every humiliating moment and minute spent in self-loathing as she helped him win whichever woman he ultimately chose to replace her. The memories and agonizing self-incrimination rose in her mind and escaped in the form of a laugh which, she would later have to admit, sounded rather deranged. He froze at her outburst. She didn't doubt his words. Never would. He had always been such a good soul. A compassionate king and a kind ruler. Had never made her feel his station was above her. Never made her feel uneasy or unwanted in his presence. But he had still cut her to the very core of her being and she had said nothing and until this moment – this moment when he had the audacity to apologize –

"You had me pick flowers with you from my garden, Agnarr! _My_ garden." Her voice echoed off the trees. Birds flew off. He winced.

"I know."

"You took them riding where we used to hunt together for nests and birds' eggs!"

"I did," he hung his head.

"You showed me the water colors they painted for you!"

"In my defense," he spoke hesitantly. "That was because Princess Erzsebet had the snowdrops completely out of season alongside the azaleas and I thought that you would think it was funny." She stared at him as she felt the rage begin to subside, leaving her feeling drained and exhausted. Of course he thought that. _Ass_. "But I can fully understand, now, how very stupid that was. And how inconsiderate it was. And how even if I did not intend to hurt your feelings – and Iduna, I swear to you on my honor as the King, I did not mean to hurt your feelings – that's exactly what I did."

He seemed so nervous. As though he thought she wouldn't believe him when he had never given her any reason to question his word. As though of the two of them, he was the one living a lie every day. Until Greet had suggested the possibility, it had never occurred to her that he could have been manipulative or malicious in their friendship. She gave a small helpless shrug and hugged the satchel to her stomach. "I never thought you meant to hurt me, your Majesty."

"It doesn't matter that I didn't mean to hurt you, Iduna. I did. And I'm so sorry." He scratched his head and sighed. "I would never want to see in any kind of pain and I . . . completely betrayed you and our friendship. Please accept my apology. Apologies. My most sincere apologies. I was . . . stupid."

"Was?" She couldn't help her treasonous tongue or the tiniest sense of satisfaction she felt seeing him flinch at her sharp tone. For too long, she had been forced to keep her hurt locked away. Lying to herself about it. Pretending with him that it wasn't even there. It had been necessary in order to stay in his life, to be his friend. Saying goodbye would have been impossible, but their interactions over the year had become increasingly impossible for her heart to bear. Now, given permission, it was hard to stem the avalanche of her frustration and anger.

"Am. Am stupid." He sighed again. "Please forgive me."

And it was done. The unspoken, deeply ugly feeling that had been building up over the past year had made itself known and vanished into the space between them. Iduna felt knots that she hadn't even acknowledged releasing their hold on her shoulders and back. She cracked her neck and rubbed her temples.

"I forgive you," she said softly. Looking anywhere but him. "Agnarr, I know you have to get married. You're the King. And I know you want a family. And you deserve to have a wonderful one, you really do." She stared at the ground.

"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about," she looked up as his voice cracked.

It was now or never. He had apologized and she hadn't physically injured him. She had also used his name not once, but twice. Even if it hadn't been a good sign last time, he held out hope – every time her saw his name form on her lips it did things to his heart. Elias had helpfully written down some talking points for him on a piece of parchment, but his hands were so clammy that he wasn't certain he would be able to get it out of his pocket without getting his hand stuck first. Instead, he slowly approached her until he was only a few inches away, close enough to take in every one of her freckles and nearly lose himself in her blue eyes.

"I'm going to have to apologize again."

"For?" She sounded uncertain.

"Before I started having these foreign women presented to me, Captain Calder explained that, as King, and not Agnarr, I might accidentally coerce an Arendellian woman into a relationship she didn't want."

"I'm foreign."

He flushed. "I mean – women who are my subjects – " Iduna tilted her head slowly as she watched him speak and he could practically see the word "Idiot" forming on her lips. He stopped and shrugged helplessly. "I just told you how stupid I am, Iduna." Much to his relief, she huffed a small laugh.

"Captain Calder told you that it wouldn't be appropriate to impose your "Royal Will", so to speak, on any of us locals?" They shared a smile and he nodded gratefully.

"Exactly. And I'd like to think that's why every time I tried to ask," he trailed off as he saw her posture stiffen. He clenched his fists. "Iduna. I'm sorry. I do have to get married. I need to get married. I want to get married. And I think that I want to get married to you." She looked away, red in the face, but he plowed on. "I want to court you. Officially. With the blessing of the Council. But I didn't want to ask them until I had your permission."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "And I don't want to put you in this position. To put you on the spot. But – I do need to give the Council an answer soon. We're nearly nineteen. My Coronation is in just about two years and I'll need to marry either before or right after the ceremony. Arendelle has been without an heir for nearly five years. It's expected that I provide one as soon as propriety allows. It's one of my most important duties as the King. To give the kingdom the security and safety it deserves. But, also, as a man," he struggled for a few moments to find the words.

"You want children," Iduna's hushed voice broke the silence. She still wasn't looking at him. "You want a family."

"I do," He said. _And please let it be with you_. In spite of his bold words, he wasn't entirely certain what he would do if she rejected him. "And I wish I didn't have to force you with such a stark choice – but – " Agnarr swallowed hard and hoped his courage wouldn't fail. "If you tell me that you won't- that you don't want to, I'll have to agree to court someone else. If it's "no" from you, Iduna . . .I'll have to let the Council find me a "yes" from someone else." Silence. He wished she would look at him. Or say something. Anything. "I don't need you to give me an answer right now, but – "

"Yes," Iduna looked up into his eyes and he could have sworn that his heart stopped. "You can ask the Council."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the necklace he had given to her on his birthday. She held it in her palm to show him. He had started to open his mouth. She needed to shut him up before he asked something like "Are you sure?" or "Do you mean 'yes' the Council should arrange for me to court another woman?"

"Yes," She repeated because in spite of the sudden, almost unbearable, feeling of lightness and euphoria, it was becoming difficult to speak coherently. All of the longing and suppressed hopes were lifting and the woods and world were receding away as Agnarr's face broke into an ear-to-ear grin. He stepped forward and lifted her off the ground in a bone-crushing hug that pinned her arms to her sides. "Agnarr!" She laughed. "I'm going to drop it!"

He placed her down gently, still gazing so intently into her eyes that she felt rooted to the spot. It was the same way he had looked at her after walking her home. The same look he had after he gave her the necklace. Her heart was pounding in her chest as he gently touched her face and leaned in. Her eyes closed of their own accord and her hands found his waist. In her weaker moments, she had imagined their first kiss because, of course she would envision Agnarr. But such romantic musings had not included him cracking his forehead against hers.

"Ow!" Her eyes flew open. He looked mortified.

"I'm sorry! I closed my eyes too soon! I've never done this before! Are you alright?" He'd never done this before, eh? Even with all that diplomatic pressure to make nice with their allies? And she knew some of those women were quite beautiful in a powdered, ornamental sort of way. Iduna smiled with loving affection. He was so dumb. And sweet. And she would be lucky to spend the rest of her life being just a little exasperated by him

"It's fine," She chuckled, her hands gently clutching at his waistcoat, the pendant feeling like it was burning a hole in her left hand. "Try again." She tilted her head back and closed her eyes again. Even though she was expecting it, the reality of Agnarr's warm mouth on hers was unexpected enough to take her breath away. It was much wetter than she had anticipated, and none of her fantasies had ever involved their teeth clicking together, but it was still wonderful and when he finally drew away, he left her lips tingling pleasantly.

He was blushing, but looked pleased nonetheless. "I might be bad at this now, but I promise you, I'll get better. We can practice together." He looked so happy. And it made her feel warm all over to know that she was the reason he looked so happy. That their clumsy, inept kiss could make him beam like that. He gently took her hands and took the necklace from her. "May I?" She smiled and turned, raising her braids out of the way as he brought the delicate chain around her neck. She made a soft sound as his lips seared her skin where the clasp was fastened.

From somewhere deep, under the oblivious joy, a voice was trying to make itself heard. To assert that she was a traitor, and a liar, and that this was doomed. When he discovered who she was, what she was, he would push her away or worse. But before the thoughts could coalesce, he brought his arms around her and she melted into his embrace. They lingered a few more moments in the afterglow, his chin tucked atop her shoulder, before Agnarr pulled away from her.

"We should head back," he said softly. "If you're done out here, I mean. We could walk back together. I want to tell the Council immediately."

"I would like that," she said, still blushing. "To walk back with you." He grinned, his eyes alight and clasped her hand in his. He took a confident step towards their future before she stopped him. "Agnarr, the road is _that_ way." She was clearly trying not to laugh.

He was not deterred. "Lead the way, Iduna!" She managed to get him back to the road without getting lost once or him floating off into the sky, only stopping to retrieve her boots and stockings. He sat next to her, giddy to be so close, while she pulled them on. It was odd, he thought, how something so simple could be so intimate. Of course she did this every day. He did the laces up on one of her boots she did the other, ignoring her giggling attempts to swat him away. When they reached the road, she pulled out of his grasp. He made a sad whining sound and pouted, holding his hand out and wiggling his fingers. She laughed at seeing him act like one of the smaller children at Eir's.

"Someone will see," she hugged herself, walking backwards as she smiled. He shrugged.

"So? Let them."

"The Council hasn't given permission."

"That is a formality and a courtesy," he laughed. "I'm the King. I can have them all beheaded."

"Agnarr!"

"Well, thrown in the dungeon. Or maybe just removed from their position," he grinned and grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers as best he could. "It won't be a problem. Asking you was the hard part." She huffed at that, grabbed his wrist and deliberately pulled her hand out of his. There was an instant where his heart fell and he wondered if he had said exactly the wrong thing again, before she looped her elbow around his and pressed into his side.

"You've grown a lot in the past three years," she said shyly. "Your hands are a bit too big for me to hold comfortably if we're going to walk that far."

"This is fine!" He blurted. It was fine. So fine. Eminently fine. They ambled slowly along the empty road, discussing nothing of great importance, reveling in the novelty of their shared touch. But something was bothering him. "Iduna, can I ask you something?" She smiled up at him.

"You sound pretty serious given what you asked earlier. Should I be worried?"

"No, I mean – I just . . .when I was being an idiot. When I was asking you for advice with those women. Why didn't you say anything? I mean, I should've known better. But still . . ."

She sighed and hugged his arm against her chest. "You're still the King, Agnarr. It's not always easy . . .or even safe . . .for people to be honest with the King. Even when he is being a completely inconsiderate ass."

"You'll always be safe with me," he promised. "And I always want you to be honest with me." She hugged his arm so tightly that it hurt for a moment. "I want to know what you're thinking. I'm not as good at figuring that out as I thought I was. And I never want to hurt you again. You're too precious to me."

"I will . . .always do my best to be truthful with you," she replied slowly. "Whenever possible." He smiled and patted her hand with his.

"Thank you. So then, about these potential suitors that you never mentioned that I've been told you had?"

"I will be honest as long as I want to answer the question," she laughed and pushed him away. Chuckling he drew her back into his arms for another kiss. He didn't think she would let him get away with it once they were closer to the town. It was wonderful. They were getting better already.


End file.
